Love Is An Orbital Sander

I have to go home... I am home

2008-02-16T09:25:00.001-08:00

Loneliness is a demon some mornings. Waking up late, looking at a cold saturday morning in the empty apartment. The routine is almost so sad it is amazing that the soul is still willing to force air through the lungs, drive the carcass into the shower... a fraction of a pot of mocha java from the Chemex, an english muffin (whole grain, organic butter, natch) and things don't seem so bad, so empty. YouTube provides a little companionship... Clips from films, mash-ups of Carl Sagan and Mogwai, all 32 Short Films About Glenn Gould. The neue classic scene from Almost Famous, singing along with Elton John;

call: "I have to go home"
response: "You are home".

A truism of life on the road, the ties that bind wrapped around no one place, no physical thing, but a set of experiences, memories, feelings and the odd ducks, weirdos, freaks and just plain random people you meet along the way. This is, however, cold comfort on a saturday morning in february, when the only things that keeps the footfalls from echoing is the wall to wall. Have I gone too far too go home? and where is that supposed to be? Spokanistan? Seattle? Bellingham? or is home that glorious morning driving into Spokane on the tail-end of a horrid storm that threatened to throw the jeep off the road, the eastern sky stained with colour, like the aftermath of a riot, blood and fire and shattered glass... Hunter was right, buy the ticket, take the ride, and God knows, I bought a fistfull of tickets.

Teach The Children

2006-10-03T11:56:00.000-07:00

September was a chaotic month, mostly of my own doing, and now on the back end of it, I think some days that I am my own worst enemy. Luckily there are many fine people out there who reach out and give me a hand when I need it most, usually by calming me down when I freak out, or offering up some space on the futon and a spare key when I am travelling in some place that isn't the Lou (Calvin, thanks again for letting me crash in SF). Big Mike put a new spoke on the Red Trek's rear wheel in about 2 minutes, and I am once again riding in fine style through the Gateway to the West. I knew that October was going to be a Super Awesome Month when on Sunday morning I was crossing Wydown and a mom with her two kids were about to cross as well, her little boy, who looked to be about 3 said "a bicycle" the mom said "yes, a cyclist, share the road". Mystery mom, you rock.

Selah.

Can We Nuke The French Now?

2006-07-31T14:19:00.000-07:00

Sunday was insufferably hot and humid for a child of the PNW, even one from Spokane, who was also a resident of Moses Gulch. I did manage a ride to coffee, taking the Jeunet, but wearing my old Specialized shoes. The cleats stick out more on these than my Shimanos, and kept my feet sliding around on the spindle of the platform pedals, so after stopping by the store for plums, I decided a pedal swap would be a nice air-conditioned activity. Since the Easton is not being used right now, a simple matter of transferring the 747's to the Jeunet seemed like the proper course of action. I managed to remove a part of my right hand with the chain-ring when taking off the pedals on the Easton, which set the stage for taking the pedals off the Jeunet to discover that the cotter-pin cranks are French threaded. [Insert string of obscenities here.] Based on this information, I think it is safe to say that the bottom bracket is also French threaded, which preculdes replacement with anything made after 1980, so replacing the bottom bracket and cranks is out. Do I dare try and tap the cranks to metric? I fear that I am going to have to simply buy another bike, and remember to not wear my old shoes when riding the Jeunet.

Send neosporin and freon.

Mr. Ring Tail

2006-07-29T12:57:00.000-07:00

Since my life revolves around polymer chemistry, cycling and gardening, when one aspect of my life is off kilter, my whole life is off kilter. This morning when I went to water my garden in the hopes of preventing mass plant death due to the extreme heat of the Lou I found the top of my hybride super-lycopene tomato bent over and the first of its crop of fruit missing. The raccoons have struck, the little bastards. At least the tomato was still green, had it been closer to ripe I probably would still be in the back yard crying. For some reason they are ignoring the pepper plants, and I will have to see what happens to the canteloupe, zucchini and cucumber as the summer progresses... as my sainted mother reminds me "I always plant a garden, and I always shop at the farmer's market". The process of growing stuff is the key.

Mahalo

Tomatoes and Tacos

2006-07-27T14:29:00.000-07:00

At a certain point the insanity of my life starts to ramp up towards the red-line and I begin to seriously consider changing my name to "buttercup" and moving to Fresno, where I will gain fame as the local crazy person. Then someone will give me home-grown tomatoes. The simple gesture of giving, the luscious red fruit, the totally unexpected nature of the gift sort of erase all the oddity, the broken instruments, the stress... That and riding the Jeunet. And Gin and Tonics. And Tacos. We cannot forget the Tacos. In fact there is a Taco Blog. Unfortunately it only covers L.A. , but at least when traveling in that horrid, fetid, fungus on the ocean, we can get a good taco. Check it out: www.tacohunt.blogspot.com

Quickie

2006-07-13T16:40:00.000-07:00

I returned from Seattle last week to a shocked look on my room-mates face. He had made a private bet that I would not return, or would return, only long enough to pack... but I remain in the Lou, for now. I will return to Seattle, as soon as I can after I graduate, if only for the copious bike-lanes and the Pyramid Brewry's beer garden across from Saefco Field. The Lou is greenhousing up to the mid-90's this weekend, a trend that appears will be with us for a while, and that I shall not enjoy. But I digress, this was just a quickie. Time for a shower, some thai food and then live music.

Send cold fronts.

Take That Werner!

2006-06-28T11:30:00.000-07:00

Now that I am obsessed with the idea of re-working the Easton for in town fun, I decided to make another visit to the parts box and see if I still had a spare set of road-brake levers. I do, and they are not Dia-compes, but Suntour! I also found an old 7 speed, LX rear hub, which is probably worthless, and a box for a rear cassette. I opened the box, expecting to find some battered old mountain cassette, and instead found a brand-new 7-speed road cassette. Holy Shit! I need a new cassette for the Red Trek, and here in my box is the thing I actually need? Heisenberg has failed! I need the part, I have the part... Will the world start spinning backwards? Will cats and dogs live together? Will Menudo get back together? My trip to Recycled Cycles will be more frivolous, and less stressful!

I will blog with aplomb when I return.

A Rash of Flats

2006-06-26T15:32:00.000-07:00

The Jeunet has decided to behave very French lately. Two flats in a row, which is frustrating in the extreme as the Jeunet was intended to be a low-maintenance commuter. Oh well, I will have to buy an IRO I suppose. Pity me people, pity me. I was digging in the parts box Sunday, trying to sort out what's what, as when I am in Seattle I am making a pilgrimage to Recycled Cycles. I found my old Look pedals. They were a Recycled Cycles purchase many years ago, along with a pair of Look road shoes that were about a half-size too small. I mounted those pedals on my Cannondale m300 as the finishing touches of a winter road-conversion. Fun times were had that winter, riding around the City of Subdued Excitement on the Blue Bomber. As the winter wore off I remounted my knobbies and m525's, but kept the drops and rode cross for a while, a terrifying hoot of a time. In the midst of my sentimental trip, I am beginning to get crazy thoughts. The ones that result in strange things happening in my basement. The Easton is rusting on the vine (literally, the chain is a lovely shade of iron oxide). I have a spare set of Diacompe road levers and these bad-ass black Look pedals. All I need are some skinny tyres, a seat (don't ask), some wd40, bar-end shifters and some drop bars and I could be indulging in truly weird behavior. Now if I can just figure out how to attach a laser...

Its Hotter Than...

2006-06-21T15:25:00.000-07:00

As my Pops would say "Its hotter than the hubs of hell".

I am worried that I am going to go out and find the tires on the Trek melted onto the pavement. What is the stopping performance going to be like when its so hot that the brake pads are like soft-serve? How much crankier are the drivers going to be now that its super hot?

Pray for me.

or send ice.

Fix Me Up

2006-06-15T10:46:00.000-07:00

Two straight days of training rides on the fixie have left me with a sore back and seriously sore legs. There is just nowhere to hide when on the fixie. Hill a little too steep? Stand up and grind, wussy boy! Got a nice little downhill? Coasting is not an option, loser! The results are quite outstanding. When I get on the road bike, I find myself pedalling all the time, and switching gears a lot less, which is probably for the best.

I am so enamored that I am contemplating another fixie, wether its a franken-bike, or a purpose built ride (hard to resist the fine work of IRO or NYC Bikes) is irrelevant, as it will be set up for fun and speed. Not that I am discounting the possibility of owning another roadie, or a cyclocross rig, but for in-town hyjinks... you get the picture.

Piss and Vinegar

2006-06-09T10:16:00.000-07:00

Somehow I managed to go running this morning. Yesterday was a forced rest-day, I woke up at 5:30, and my body just said no... I still rode the Jeunet to work, but I was very tired. This morning felt like a repeat of yesterday, but when I started in on my jog, I felt pretty strong and had a nice time of it. The Jeunet has been a welcome companion this week, its amazing how much harder it is riding fixed, even with pretty weak 42x16 gearing! Part of it is the total neglect of my health. I don't even want to know how much weight I have gained, I know its too much, and there was no reason for it, other than my own moodiness. For reasons already gone over in too much detail, I just haven't wanted to be happy the last two months, and its been an ugly thing to witness. This morning the piss and vinegar were back, don't ask me why, don't ask me how, I cannot explain it. I'm going to just chalk it up to riding fixed... its the only way to be free.

Paucity, Paucity, Paucity (i just love that word)

2006-06-06T09:09:00.000-07:00

The paucity of recent posts has been a result of both my foul mood and too much work. As is my usual way of living, I started to neglect myslef very badly, and at the same time work started to exert real pressure. My relationship with my boss has reached some sort of low shelf, any further descent will result in bad ugliness. Thankfully she is out of town for a couple of weeks, and I actually went running this morning, although at the goddawful hour of 5:30 am. It was a pretty cool morning, and I guess it will be good to get into the early run habit for July, when the day time heat and humidity will be prohibitive to physical activity. The Jeunet is still at Big Shark having her new Ritchey Logic headset installed. At the end of the day, it just wasn't worth it to put in a Chris King. If the Big Shark boys keep it on schedule, I should be fixed tomorrow, and I cannot wait. I am hoping to take her to the Misouri Botanical garden for the night-time Chihuly in the Garden as well as having the pleasure of hauling her stiff gearing back and forth from work. I have been listening a lot to Jim Guthrie's Now More Than Ever, and it is seriously good.

Get Yer Head Set

2006-05-18T11:58:00.000-07:00

As I joked last week about needing a Chris King headset, you probably have guessed that the Jeunet is still a maintenance casualty. I used some webbing to hang her from the garage rafters and took the fork off. I suppose its a bad sign when the grease in the headset is stained with rust. After I cleaned the top cup I noticed a nice, deep groove all the way around. Crap. Then I dropped one bearing, which is still MIA. My irrepressible roommate helped me with the Search And Rescue for a few minutes, and offered sympathy of a kind by reminding me that this is the sort of thing that happens to him all the time. Of course, Heisenberg reared his ugly head and ensured that I don't have any replacement bearings. I really need to get it together and order a new headset. Denunzio keeps telling me to buy a Chris King, but I am having difficulty spending as much for a headset as I spent for the whole bike. I may cheese out and buy a Shimano 105. Until then, the Red Trek is running strong, the weather is warm, and the garden continues to grow.

Where is Grommit When I Need Him?

2006-05-12T12:14:00.000-07:00

As a chemist, I am naturally drawn to employing various toxic chemicals and explosives to control pests. My initial instinct, when faced with a rodent infestation is to wrap the garden with razor-wire and to place rabbit-scale claymore mines and arsenic laced carrots in pre-determined kill zones. Probably a bit excessive, and I am sure the negihboors will not enjoy the sound of explosions in the middle of the night, so I will turn to Organic Pest Control, for some environmentally friendly methods to combat floppy, and his pals. The Judester acquired it for me at Auntie's Bookstore in the Spokanistan. Of course, she is the woman who used to neturalize slugs by placing an empty tuna-fish can, flush with the soil, and filling it half-way with cheap beer. My brother and I would wake up in the morning and go tearing into the yard to witness the total slug destruction, amazed at the slimy piles of slugs in the cans. Denunzio may need to use some expensive French beer in his traps, but if it keeps those slimy recedivists off his radishes, it will be worth the investment.

Anyone know the number for Anti-Pesto?

Green Things

2006-05-11T12:12:00.000-07:00

I have developed a nasty habit lately of being so desperate for somethings to happen that I have been going off half-cocked. The garden has been a great example of this. After I gave up on the idea of building a new raised bed in an area of slightly more sunshine than the exsisting, and unused, raised bed, I went ahead and turned over the clay soil and planted, which was probably no the smartest thing to do. Luckily, the seeds I planted seem to be doing ok, the pole-beans, carrots, genovese basil, nasturtia and zucchini have all sprouted. Last weekend I purchased many bags of potting soil and manure and mixed in some of the clay and re-planted all the tomatoes and peppers, as well as planted another group of pole beans and more rows of carrots, onions and some cantalope seeds. I have also started a new rosemary, as well as potted a little thai pepper and some cilantro. The garden has been good therapy, and its nice to have actually started a project that had been on the list for a while. Hopefully the rabbits and squirrels won't notice my veg...

Dude, Where's My Trail?

2006-05-10T12:27:00.000-07:00

Living in the Lou is a mildly surreal experience most days. One wouldn't know it, but Missouri sports one of the longest and finest packed gravel bike trails in the US. Called the Katy Trail, it follows the old Kansas-arkansas-texas rail line across the state. However, as this is the midwest, land of rank stupidity, access to the trail by bicycle from the Lou is neither obvious or safe. Most folks hitch a ride to St. Charles, where the Katy officially starts, and ride their bikes from there. This is, on the face of it, kind of stupid. The Lou is a municipal area of many hundred thousand souls, and there is no decent way to access what is, by all reports, a one of its kind opportunity to get exercise and explore the Show-Me state. Thankfully there are some smart people around these parts, like the folks at the Great Rivers Greenway District, who are trying to build support for some cycling trails to connect some of our parks with the Katy. Maybe then I could get out an enjoy it.

Anyone want to mail me a 1" Chris King 2-nut threaded headset?

From The Morning

2006-04-28T10:35:00.000-07:00

A very Nick Drake morning in the Lou. Last few mornings have been drastically nipply, but I rode all the same, soon it will be hot and sticky in the early a.m. and then I will be missing cool mornings. I hitched a ride to coffee with the roommate this morning, as I was distraught over my fixed gear's many technical difficulties. JT was quite right, the lock-nut on the Jeunet's head-set is 32mm... of course the adjustment nut is not a hex-nut at all, but some kind of grooved deal. I used a pair of large Channel-Lock water pump pliers to adjust it. After tightening appropriately, I discovered that the head-set requires re-packing. Crapola. The projects keep multiplying this spring. I have yet to finish the 60's mod-chairs, haven't got the raised-bed garden in yet, and should spend a bit of time re-organizing the basement. Oh, and I have a year to do the lab work for three chapters of my dissertation.

Please send positive vibes.

Spring Rocks!

2006-04-20T14:27:00.000-07:00

Today was the third day in a row of cool mornings and warm days. Spring is here and it rocks! I took a longer route in to work yesterday, and it was one of the most pleasant experiences of a very trying month. I haven't taken a day off in over two weeks, and I am beginning to fray at the edges. I am a little suprised at how productive I am still managing to be, but I can feel myself slowly grinding to a halt. Saturday will be a blessed relief as I am not coming to work, come hell or high water. I am going to enjoy the simple pleasure of mowing the cliff (the front yard) as well as establishing my raised vegetable garden out back. Of course, I am going to go for a ride.

Those Miserable French

2006-04-13T14:23:00.000-07:00

I have coffee almost every morning with two French citizens and have come to the realization that the French are only truly happy when miserable, and being contrary. In no other nation on earth would the unemployed go on strike to protest a law that might get them a job! Since the Jeunet is a French creation, it possesses similar attributes (pump mounts, yes, bottle cage bosses, no). I still have yet to tighten the headset, as I lack the proper spanner. I have tried to measure the nut, in order to purchase the correct size of wrench. It appears to be a 33 mm. Most headset wrenches are 32, 34 or 36 mm. This would suggest that either I am wrong, or that I am disastrously right. I will have to bite the bullet and buy a wrench or two, and hope that, if a 32 or 34 won't work on the Jeunet, they will be satisfactory for the Trek, whose headset was made in that land of joyous, engineering bliss, Japan.

Wrapping It Up

2006-04-08T09:04:00.000-07:00

I knew today was going to be a hard day when I woke up at 4:30 thinking someone was knocking at the back door. I rushed upstairs thinking maybe its the Super-A! No one was there, but the wind had knocked over the broom we keep on the back porch. I managed to slip in and out of sleep for about an hour, then sucked it up and got up. A cold morning, at 38 degrees with a wind chill at 29! The weather-woman didn't help much by pointing out that the last frost is usually April 6th. Rode in to work about 6, had to break out the balacava, the Yoko gloves, the InMotion tights... Fired up a polymerization and then managed to get to coffee about 9. Around 10 I sucked it up again and rode out to Super-A's to pick up a few things, and drop some things off, dreading the whole ride. The wind didn't make it any easier, and when I passed the Natatorium and saw her Honda, thought I was going to bawl. I got to her house, and a flood of happy memories washed over me, I saw the little bag on her back porch, took some things, left others, read the note, cried a little, put myself together and rode back to work, forgetting to leave her things! I will have to mail them today...

I've been listening to lots of U2 lately, funny that I never really listened to the lyrics of Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For until now. "You broke the bonds, loosed the chains, carried the cross and, all my shame..." After reading her note, I know that she loves me as much as I love her, and that the pain and loneliness is equally shared. I also understand that our relationship was a chance to break through the barriers to being able to love that our pasts had put up. It was a gamble, a roll of the dice, and in the end was worth it, even with everything we are going through now. One of the things I have learned is that when leaving, whether its a job, or a city or a relationship, to leave the door open, who knows what the future will bring... as for the past, well I've managed to recover an important part of me that I thought was lost. Thanks Super-A, I love you, and you'll always be super to me.

The last of the emotional posts for a while, we'll return to the regularly scheduled cycling craziness next week.

Could have been...

2006-04-05T13:44:00.000-07:00

In the last few days I have been doing a lot of meditation on myself, where my life is and where my life is headed. Having looked at myself critically I can state that I don't handle stress nearly as well as I need to, I am not nearly as mature as I think I need to be, but that I am more mature than I thought I was, that I need a more concrete plan for my research, I lack the right spanner (i.e. wrench) for adjusting my head set, I need to up my mileage on the bike, and that, as painful as it has been, I understand the GF's decision in a strange way. I coined her Super-A for a good reason, she is a super person. Her heart is bigger than most, her hugs are solid, her kisses electric, her brain active, her willingness to help unreal and her sense of self is stronger than steel. She knows herself well, and if something in her subconscience is telling her to not date me, then who am I to argue with that? If you love someone, set them free, isn't that what the Beatles told us to do? Having dated her, I can say I am a better person now then I was before, and that the growing I have done the last few months has been astounding, and mostly her doing. I miss her terribly and am bit blue, but that's ok, I am in love with the woman, but not with her, which is a bummer any way you slice it. All in all I am taking it for what it is, a chance to reflect on myself, and what I experienced, and I am pretty happy with what I see. I had a lot of fun, and smiled a lot considering that work was delivering a serious arse-kicking at the time. Who can tell what the future holds, its not set in stone anywhere I am aware of. I'm ok with the mystery, the great magnet will lead me wherever I need to go, and get me there on schedule. I could dwell on what I might have been: a boy friend, a husband, a lover, but in the end, I need to be myself first, those other roles will be there when its time.

Until then, anyone want to go for a ride?

Loose Head Set

2006-04-04T12:02:00.000-07:00

The Jeunet is a maintanence casulty right now. Loose headset, which is more of a bother than anything else because a) I don't own a bike stand and b) its a French bike, and is therefore a little weird. I am going to try and find the time tonight to fix it after I mow the lawn, but may actually exacerbate the problem... I forsee lots of swearing and some bruised/scrapped knuckles. The Red Trek is holding up pretty well, needs a few minor adjustments to the front deraileur, and the chain could use a good lube job. Planning on a relaxed 6 miler tonight, for no reason at all.

My girlfriend broke up with me on saturday, but more on that later.

I Vote For Spring

2006-03-23T07:06:00.000-08:00

This is riggodamdiculous. March 23rd and its 29 degrees outside. I could swear that the spring was supposed to be warmer than the winter. Maybe I was distracted by Annie Liss the day in Earth Sciences in the 7th grade when we covered seasonal weather changes. Then again, maybe not. Rode the fixie today, and despite the cold, it was a pretty sweet ride. Every day on the fixie is another day that I wonder "why did I wait this long?". I have to send mad, crazy, wicked props to the Fixed Gear Gallery for getting me convinced that I can do this, and for having the on-line Swap Meet where I found the Jeunet. Damn nice folks at the FGG, they do it right, which is the way it should be. They are also from the northern midwest, which seems to be the home to a fair number of two-wheeled revolutionaries. Cars-R-Coffins, One Less Car clothing, the FGG... these people have managed to mate idealism with creativity and humor with enough attitude to make it cool, but not so much as to make it like an elitist club. That is a beautiful thing in cycling. It may be time for us to create some trouble here in the Lou... I know that there are some folks who understand, there are at least four people, besides myself, who ride fixies on campus. Two Langsters, an IRO MarkV and a Surly... There is also some nut-case over in engineering who has an old Schwinn Moab as either a single speed or fixie... still sweet with the disc brakes and bright yellow paint. Way to be dude.

Bike Update

2006-03-18T07:34:00.000-08:00

I bought a fixed gear last weekend. Modified Jeunet Franche-Comte. Its some seriously sweet Lugged French steel from the late 60's/ early 70's. Lined lugs, no waterbottle mounts, but pump mounts int he down tube, cotter-pin cranks and a damn-near perfect chainline. K did the modifications including the sweet wheel-build on the Suzue track hubs. All I can say is K does not fuck around. She is also very nice, super-cute and has wicked-awesome tattoos. My roommate took one look at the Jeunet and said "Its a real bicycle". There is a definate learning curve to riding fixed, and periodically I find myself doing something stupid, but I have wrecked only once, and that is not half-bad. I need to mount some lights, but I got the One Less Car sticker on the top tube, so everyone can appreciate my position on the discussion. Only modifications I need to make are some new bars and a new stem. Currently things are a little too narrow and compact for my liking, but soon all will be good. Pressure is off on updating the Trek, so now I can shop for some STI's et al. at my leisure.

Winter Solace

2006-03-18T07:11:00.000-08:00

Rode in this morning and stopped by Kaldi's for some blueberry bannana bread and a latte. I had intended to make bannana bread last night, and didn't get there. Kaldi's is not my favorite spot, the cafe is layed out really wierd, and the front room has a table in the middle of the area where you wait for your coffee, which is annoying. Its really popular with Claytonites, which is cool for them, but since I am an outsider, its a little off-putting (case in point, there were three BMW's and a new Audi A6 parked in front). The headache, is the coffee is good and the baked goods kick serious ass. Not as good as the Rockwood Cafe in good old Spokanistan, but seriously good none-the-less. Sat outside despite the cold weather and enjoyed the view of Concordia seminary through the still leaf-less branches of the trees. Read a little of Gretel Ehrlich's The Solace of Open Spaces. Its definately up there with Desert Solitaire and Into the Wild for some good reading about the wilderness and the pleasure of free and open land. Something that more people need to understand in this country. There is a joy to being alone out in the middle of somewhere, a connection to the land, the sage, the trees, the sky. This is something that Gale Norton, George Bush, Dick Cheney and their ilk cannot grasp. The inherent value of open space is not what can be done to the land, but in what the land can do to you. This is the heart of conservationism, and more. Its also the heart of the American Dream and the core of the American Ideal, in this land, you are free.

Goodbye Gale...

2006-03-10T13:49:00.000-08:00

Gale Norton resigned as Secretary of Interior today, all I can say is, thank God. She isn't the first political hack to hold the position, but she will be remembered by history as the Slum Lord of America's property. Of course, as a member of the John Birch Society she was a great choice to take care of the national lands. Kind of like asking Dick Cheney to run the ACLU. It will be interesting to see what industry hack Karl Rove trots out to replace her. Nice weather today, which I missed as I was inside all day. I may lose it.

Mahalo

Enough Cold

2006-03-07T08:58:00.000-08:00

Another cold-ass morning in the Lou. I think I have had enough of winter for this year. We're supposed to climb back up into the high 50's today, on a march to the 70's this weekend. Could it be that the nicest weather of the week would be on the weekend? At this point, it sounds too good to be true. I expect it to be a total blizzard this weekend. Can't decide if upgrading parts on the Trek is smarter than buying a whole new bike. The Bianchi Volpe is pretty sweeet, but lacks the celeste paint job that would put me over the edge for sure.

The LED Lining

2006-03-04T07:27:00.000-08:00

Well, thursday was a day. I woke up kind of pumped, thinking that in 12 hours I would be at Super-A's, making fajita's... mmmmm, fajitas. The day before I had put in the serious hours at work, and hadn't gotten home until well after 11, so I was worried I wouldn't have any juice for the ride in. Suprisingly I had lots of energy and I was really focused, which was a really good thing, because about half-way to school part of the flange on my front hub broke off. I walked in to work, laughing at the hilariousness of the whole situation because I had just the day before decided to buy a new wheelset, rear cassette, bar-end shifters and rear deraileur and make the change to 8 speed. After group lunch at Lulu's Dim Sum (I highly reccommend the cashew chicken), I walked the Trek over to Big Shark. I now have a new Mavic MA-3 laced 3-cross to a 105 hub. The only silver lining is the fact that the three-cross spoke pattern has allowed me to mount my Good-bye Batteries light! I'll prepare a field report after a couple of night-time rides, but I expect it to be wicked good, just like the fajita's.

Don't Say You Gave It All...

2006-02-24T16:24:00.000-08:00

It hit 60 degrees again yesterday, but with a stiff 18 mph WNW wind I wasn't going to go for bike ride, so I put in a nice run instead. Since the weather has been so chaotic lately and I have been putting in the serious hours in the lab I have not been running regularily, so pinching off a quick four miles may not have been the smartest idea. Of course, its me, so every hill I see has to be run up, and when I got to the steps in front of Brookings Hall, I had to take them two at a time. As the poet has said "don't say you gave it all if you ain't gave it all..." Dr. Bones has also weighed in on the subject of how to do things with "If its worth doing, its worth doing right, so don't fuck around". When I run, I run until blowing chunks is a distinct possibility, regardless of whether I am commuting by bike later or not. My ride home was much easier than I had expected... so maybe I should run my arse off more often?
On other fronts, I decided to put off an auto purchase indefinately and buy a new road bike. The Red Trek is really starting to show her age and mileage. The probability of total bearing failure in the hubs and bottom bracket is increasing with every revolution of pedals and wheels, and the Modolo Equippe brakes are not quite as responsive as they used to be. Of course they were never intended to get the kind of punishment I dish out on the commute. Whenever my IRS refund gets here, its off to Big Shark for a new roadie. Then I can start policing parts to convert The Red Trek to a fixed gear.

So it is written, so it shall be done.

The Heart of Darkness

2006-02-16T13:54:00.000-08:00

Destroyed another light last night. As I made the left turn from campus onto Forsyth I hit the big bumps and in the midst of all the shaking and the traffic the front half of my Topeak light went flying. Same place my Cateye came apart. Crap. No way I can stop and look to see if its ok amidst all the SUV's being piloted by cranky people. So now I need another light. I have the Goodbye Batteries lights, but that will involve mounting them, which for reasons no one can fathom, I haven't done. Still went for a ride in the park last night, it stopped raining and it was gloriously warm and not to windy. The new fender is the cat's meow. Better living through plastic.

20 Percent Chance

2006-02-15T15:37:00.000-08:00

I cannot decide if I hate the weather-predictor-people here in the Lou, or feel pity for them. They tend to be horridly wrong most of the time, which would be ok, except I ride a bike to work most days, and need an accurate forcast. For instance, today was supposed to sport a 20 percent chance of showers. Indeed. Its been raining pretty steadily for the last hour or so, and I left the booties at the house today because the weather-oracle said 20 percent chance of a spot shower. Liar.
Yesterday was amazing, 65 degrees and windy. Did two laps of the park despite a sore left knee and some tight hamstrings. Did a little jaunt through the park again this morning, and will probably do one tonight, just cause. I bought a new rear fender, its an el-cheapo that clamps onto the seat post, but if it keeps my arse dry, I don't really care. I used to be a serious gear-head, obsessed with the latest shiny expensive bike thingy. Especially if it were made of titanium or carbon fiber. Now I worry about function, and wether it will fail under the constant abuse of commuting. Can't decide if this is a change as a result of living on a stipend, or some derived wisdom that I have developed over the years. Hopefully, its wisdom.

Let It Snow

2006-02-08T06:36:00.000-08:00

Woke up early this morning. Something in the air of the house has been irritating my allergies and I just couldn't sleep. Looked outside to see a dusting of snow on the cars, but bare wet roads. Nice day to ride. Went back downstairs, had some yogurt, read some more of The Smartest Guys In The Room, when the clock said 7 am, I started to gear up, walked upstairs and noticed that there was now snow on the road and more snow falling. Decided that I would still ride the road bike, but take the corners a little slower than usual. Tried out my new Topeak light. Its a tricky little LED that I paid 10 bucks for on ebay. It takes some ridiculously expensive little Li ion batteries, but it has a simple attachment system that will allow me to mount it on any of the bikes in the house without any fuss. As an added bonus, its small enough to fit in a pocket. Sweet. Of course I forgot my lock, which was not sweet, so the bike is stashed in a corner of the lab, where it will piss someone off just by being there.

Colder Than...

2006-02-05T10:59:00.000-08:00

20 degrees with a strong North wind this morning. Colder than I would like. Warmed up to 30! Damn near tropical. Time to ride home for a nap, after a spin around the park, of course.

Basho Is My Friend

2006-02-03T12:46:00.000-08:00

I'd never sent a woman flowers before yesterday. I was nervous and out of sorts all day. First I had to find a florist, luckily Google Local was ready for the task... then I had to pick an arrangement. Something tasteful, yet beautiful, and not too big. WTF people? Ask me to pick the right combination of initiator, transfer agent, cosolvent, reaction conditions and monomers for a successful Reversible Addition Fragmentation and Chain Transfer polymerization and I am your man. But picking flowers? I am just not equipped for that sort of thing. Once I picked something I had to come up with something for the card... Google to the rescue again, I looked up Basho (the 17th century Japanese poet) and found a nice little haiku about irises and conversation. Put it on the Visa and let it be. Based on the phone call I got that afternoon, I did the thing right. Thanks Basho. You are

Damn Inferior Earthling Technology

2006-01-30T12:29:00.000-08:00

The saga of the Red Trek took another left hand turn today when my front-derailleur cable snapped when I was accelerating up Skinker. I probably have needed to replace the housing for some time, but being me I have just ignored the stiff shifting and gone on luck... The cable snapped right at the shifter and the little stop that catches in the shifter went flying. I have pulled the cable out, and the end of the cable is frayed and a little rusty. Bummer. The question now is, do I have a spare shifter cable at the house? The Heisenberg uncertainty principle, as it applies to bike parts, states that you can know that you need a part, but cannot know if you posess it, or conversely, you can know you posess a part but not know if you need it. Crap. I guess I am walking to the bike shop. At least I can stop by Meshuggah for the happy afternoon coffee on my way home.

Do Tyres Flat in Threes?

2006-01-29T09:22:00.000-08:00

I haven't been riding much lately. I went to the laundry last weekend on the road bike and when I came out I had a flat rear. Since I don't haul tools or a pump with me anymore, I simply walked home, put away my laundry and got distracted. Since I have another bike, I rode that instead, until I worked up the energy to change the flat. When I changed the tube (it had a nasty puncture) I assumed that it was a one off thing, hazard of riding on the road. Of course the next afternoon, I jumped on the bike for a late-afternoon spin around the park, got half a mile from the house, and flatted. After walking home and cursing for a while, I pulled the tube, inflated it and located, you guessed it, a nasty puncture. I then decided that maybe I should inspect the wheel and the tyre and deduct the cause. Nothing lept out at me, except that the tyre was looking a bit ragged and worn. Now in most places a worn tyre isn't really a big deal, but riding on the crappy roads of The Lou, with the cavernous pot-holes and copious amounts of broken glass, rusty nails, screws and god-only-knows what on the sides of the road, a worn tyre is a recipe for flats. So off I go to Big Shark, listening to the Killers and feeling a little blue about having to buy tyres again. Luckily Dave was working and set me up with some Continental Gator Skins... which he claims will survive the detritus we commonly ride through better than most. I mounted them two days ago, caught a ride to coffee with my roommate, and then jumped on the Trek for a quick grocery run. No flats, no problems. Today I took a little turn through the park on my way to coffee. Stiff wind from the west, but empty roads, and I now have the Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou soundtrack, which was perfect for this morning. I climbed up on top of the hill, feeling tired and slow and thought I would aim straight for Meshuggah's, get out of the wind and start in on my coffee. Then Bowie's Life on Mars hit and I dropped the hammer and it was all good.

Seattle in the House

2006-01-23T11:31:00.000-08:00

Hard to tell which is more exciting, getting my first paper accepted for publication, the seachickens going to the superbowl or the now functioning washing machine in the basement. I'm going with the washing machine, if for no other reason than I now have one less reason for buying a car! Of course, before I could use the washing machine, I had to clear all the debris and despress from that half of the basement and sweep and mop the floor. I will probably have to mop the floor again before I clean up the other half. Having done that I noticed that the walls are a bit dungy and could use a nice coat of paint. I am feeling like a nice yellow would really be lovely.

You're a Star

2006-01-22T12:45:00.000-08:00

A bleak and cold Sunday morning. I felt sluggish and weak the whole ride in. The Trek is still a maintenence casulty, needs a new tube in the rear, that I keep telling myself I am going to change when I get home. really. The Easton has not been treating me well, of course it could go for a complete overhaul, deraileurs are a tad out of adjustment, the Rock Shox are sticking the breaks are squeaking... The winter has been hard and brutal on my rides and there are still many weeks to survive. The Trek is starting to make creaking noises, especially near the bottom bracket... is a frame failure in my future? I pray to the memory of The Pirate that she'll hold together for another year. Do you hear me Marco? One more year on her sweet lugged frame, one more year of hard cornering, one more year! I measured the frame this morning as the hunt for a new ride is now serious. Many options on ebay. Now I have to decide, do I upgrade to a new road bike or do I find another classic lugged frame to build a Fixie? Hopefully I will see something that speaks to me on some base level, like the first time I rode my old Peregrine, and it will just be a matter of clicking and paying. Hopefully.

Bipolar Weather

2006-01-14T12:16:00.000-08:00

The only thing that keeps me off my bike besides laziness is ice. Last night when I rode home (took the long route) the streets were still warm enough from the day to be wet, not icy, but all the trees and yards had a nice dusting of snow, and the park looked really beautiful. This morning I gandered out the window to assess road conditions while I was brushing my teeth. The roads were covered in a thin layer of frost and ice, which in most locales wouldn't be an issue, except that this is the lou, home of the puddle and manhole cover. I had a sudden image of myself hitting an icy manhole cover at Delmar and Skinker and sliding to my dismemberment under a ghetto-mobile while I was working on my molars and decided that I would walk. Besides, the Brookster brought me a new hat from Speight's brewery in New Zealand that I was just dying to wear. So off I marched, listening to Nick Drake's Five Leaves Left on the iPod and enjoying the cold air and bright sunshine. Stopped by Kaldi's for some pumpkin bread and a latte and then on to the lab. Sun has been shining for hours so the temps will hit the mid 40's, maybe even the fifties! Perfect winter riding weather in the lou, and the Trek is at home. Stupid bipolar weather.

dismal, just dismal

2006-01-12T13:44:00.000-08:00

Whenever I leave Seattle it feels like I am commiting ritual suicide. There is the feeling that somehow I am a failure, unable to make the right choices so that I could live in the place that I want. There is the sinking realization that I am leaving, getting into some aluminum death cigar bound for someplace that doesn't have the right ratio of trees to people, or that lacks a decent body of water. Here I am, sitting in the lab in the midst of another wasted day, spent trying to fix junk and deal with failure, looking for the motivation that I thought I had managed to squirrel away in my big green bag, along with a jar of honey and a bag of butterfly cookies from Le Panier for my housemate. I keep hoping that tomorrow will be better, that something, anything, will work, and that I can capture some kind of forward motion. Its 60 something degrees outside, maybe I will feel better after going for a bike ride.

Voyager

2005-12-15T14:09:00.000-08:00

Crisp morning ride today, frost on the roads, but no ice I could see so the Red Trek was called up from the office, tire pressure checked and ZOOM! I hadn't ridden her in over a week and it was just silly fun leaning into corners and getting into the drops for the descents. Denunzio's right, a Surly Crosscheck would probably suit me well, but so would a Soma Rush or a Bianchi Pista. Big Mike (i just made that nickname up) tells me the '06 Pista will come with a front brake, which may make it difficult to resist next time I stop by Big Shark for some tubes. Listening to Daft Punk's Discovery today... for some reason the track "Voyager" sent me off on a nostalgia kick for the 80's. Probably the synthesizers. I miss my youth, the days when I was certain of many things, and everything was interesting. But I don't miss it so much that I want to see a movie version of Miami Vice with Colin Farrell. Colin Farrell? Couldn't they have found an American for the role of Sonny? Miami Vice was the 80's incarnate, self-righteous, self-absorbed, impossibly vain, with neon and bad/big hair. In what other decade would it be plausible that a cop would drive a Ferrari? Or wear loafers with no socks? Every episode was pretty people fucking up other pretty people with Edward James Olmos looking constipated and a kick-ass soundtrack. Hollywood has sucked the life out of so much of what passes as
American culture that it shouldn't suprise me that they would start preying on the 80's TV. I was just hoping that after all the movies recently made from TV flopped (SWAT or I Dream of Genie anyone?) that they would leave well enough alone. I guess I was asking too much of the people who green-lighted Crossroads.

Snow Is Cool

2005-12-08T12:40:00.000-08:00

The weather gods have finally compensated us for all the miserable cold weather by blanketing our fair municipality with a few inches of snow. It greatly improves the appearance of the place and gave me an excuse to ride the Easton again. The snow was supposed to start early this morning but didn't kick in until about 8, so I didn't have as much fun on my way in as I could have. Stupid low pressure system. At least I can enjoy some snow riding in the park tonight on my training ride, which is always an adventure on the Easton, as I take the same route that I take on the Red Trek. I had thought I might sell the Easton and put the proceeds towards a fixie... but it is nice to have a mountain bike available. There are some great trails out here, or so I'm told, but they are all a ways out of town and really have to be driven to. Besides I know that if I sold the Easton, the next day I would meet some cute woman with an interest in showing me her favorite trails...

Please send any spare 53 or 54 cm road frames (horizontal drop-outs please) to me.

Conflict Sucks

2005-12-08T10:36:00.000-08:00

Its snowing again. Looks like we'll get a good couple of inches this time, and its sticking. Rode the Easton again in all its tricked out glory. Only headache is that my headlamp mount won't tighten down enough to keep the lamp in position. Stupid carbon fiber bars. That small issue not withstanding, the Easton is a pretty sweet ride, especially in the snow and on the trail. Which is the problem. I had thought to sell it in order to finance either a crossbike or a purpose built fixie from Bianchi, IRO or NYCbikes. Now I am not so sure I want to part with it and all its uselessness most of the year. Good mountain biking exists in the Midwest, but has to be driven to from my domicile. I know that the day after I sell it I will meet some nice woman who knows of some sweet single track and wants to go on a ride. So now I am conflicted. The Easton rocks, but sits idle most of the year, taunting me with memories of Galbraith, while I continue to ride the Red Trek, with its creaking bottom bracket, battered front wheel and shredded paint. Insert expletive of choice here.

please mail any surplus 53 or 54 cm cross frames you may have to me.

My New Bag Can Beat Up Your Bag

2005-12-06T13:20:00.000-08:00

20 degrees, inch of snow, North wind at 10 mph... time to get out the mountain bike. Had to pump up the tyres, and probably should have oiled the chain, but it was cold and I was in dire need of a cup of coffee. I believe that if you are going to ride you have to ride when its nasty, poorly lubed chain or not. Of course I don't expect anyone to ride when its nasty without the proper attire, that would be silly. I got my new R.E.Load bag in the mail on Friday, and have been using it ever since. I ordered the Courier, in Kelly Green, and have to admit it might be a bit on the largish side. Of course when I go to the grocery store and actually have room for everything in my bag, it seems just right. I highly recommend ReLoad (www.reloadbags.com) to everyone, They make each bag custom, and there are lots of cool options. The bag is well made and very comfy, and they have an office in Seattle. How can you say no. Go and buy something now, like a good american.

Makeup

2005-11-28T07:15:00.000-08:00

As my flat-mate and I were driving to the airport this morning we got stuck going 55 behind a late 80's Chevy Astro van in the left lane on 170. As we made our way to the right to exit Burke remarked "She's putting on her make-up!". Why is it that women (Not being sexist here) think that they can safely navigate traffic while putting on makeup? Its bad enough in town, but on the highway? Driving a car with a perilously high center of gravity and an abhorrent rate of fatalities in roll-over accidents? Is it that hard to get up 10 minutes earlier so that there is adequate time to apply powder, lipstick and mascara in front of a stationary mirror? Woman Putting On Make-up is number five on the most dangerous drivers to cyclists after Dump Trucks, Insecure iIn Their Masculinity Men In Elevated Pick-ups, Soccer Moms in SUV's and Ghetto Cars. When did it become ok to be a selfish ass in this country? Did I miss a memo or something? I recall being taught that when driving one should pay attention to driving, for no just my sake, but everyone else's.

Sorry about the lack of posts. I was putting on my make-up.

Wednesdays are Wednesdays

2005-10-26T14:01:00.000-07:00

Its a beautiful fall day. I went running in the park.

Mahalo

Other People's Oxygen

2005-10-25T10:38:00.000-07:00

For reasons that have never been adequately explained, this university is run like anarchy, on meth. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays classes are 53 minutes long and start at 7 minutes after the hour (don't ask, I don't know why) and on Tuesdays and Thursdays classes are 90 minutes long and start on the hour or the half-hour. This means that the cafeteria complex on the main part of campus is mobbed with students at different times of the day on different days of the week. As a full-time researcher and profligate user of ether I tend to just wander out of the lab whenever I am hungry and go acquire food. Mostly tacos. I often find myself in an empty cafeteria, which is just great, faster taco kinetics. Today, by virtue of the Byzantine class schedule I managed to find myself in the midst of a large number of our undergraduates. I forgot my iPod, which I regretted almost immediately as a girl in front of me and another behind me started off on some high speed vapid sagas involving copious usage of "and like, then I was like...". I was quite tempted to ask 'how does it feel to know you are using other people's oxygen?'. Intelligence, however, intervened and I decided that it would be less of a hassle to just think about thermal gravimetric analysis while I waited to get over the activation barrier and order my tacos. mmmmm, tacos.

The Fall Offensive

2005-10-15T13:56:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the last day on the KM. I was tired and really hungover (2 pitchers of PBR) so I was moving slow, and was able to really enjoy the view of the golf course shrouded in fog as I coasted down the hill. One of those magical mornings, not too much traffic, and fresh charge for the Ipod and Sufjan Stevens' Illinois. Another long day at work, punctuated by hosting Departmental Happy Hour. I selected the Schlafly Brewery's Lindsay's 80 Schilling for our drinking pleasure. Fine day for it on our little plaza, 80 degrees and sunny, no humidity to speak of and I managed to recover my 45 dollar investment. Today I walked because I had to pick up the red Trek. The Big Shark crue did the usual outstanding work. The wheels are actually straight and the front brakes actually work, they even re-taped the bars even though I didn't ask them too. I jumped on her and... I know that I had said that car ownership was inevitable and that I was going to have to surrender, but that was a lie. I see no reason to own a car when I could stand to lose another 20 pounds, and if I lose that much extra weight I'll be so fast I won't need a car except in extreme circumstances. Next month I will buy a new cyclocross bike, slap on some slicks and fenders and ride my ass off all winter. The Trek is looking a little tired so I'll have to strip off the paint, give her a new paint job. Red will be the dominant colour but I may paint the fork a nice creamy white . I think I will rebuild her as a single speed/fixed gear, with a Surly flipflop rear hub, just cause. I discovered these fine folks during some soul searching on the web: www.1lesscar.com I know I am buying a shirt or two.

I Surrendered (Almost)

2005-10-12T15:33:00.000-07:00

It pains me to admit this publicly, but I actually attempted to buy a car today. Fortunately, fate intervened and the car had already been sold. Thank God, now I can return to a state of blissful ignorance about insurance rates and the price of a new water pump for a 1988 VW Fox. Unfortunately my bliss will only last until my housemate sees an advertisement for a cheap car and gets me all worked up again, the bastard. I know that weeknight trips to the climbing gym, the lumber yard, or the grocery store would be less of an operation if I owned a car, and that car ownership would not negate my ability to ride or walk to work on a daily basis, but car ownership is not something I feel really ready for. Cars seem to exist for the purpose of making people upset and for generating money for a lot of people who are not me. Purchasing a car in St. Louis includes 4% state and 4% city sales tax, in addition to a road worthiness inspection (please give money to the mechanic), emissions testing (and fee), licensing fee, property tax (how is that justified?) and state mandated insurance. Due to the high rate of felony car theft in St. Louis, it would have cost almost as much to insure the Fox for a year as its Kelly Blue Book value. I got a headache trying to understand the economics of that and just said forget it and returned my excess thoughts to conducting polymers and excess time to unleashing my orbital sander on an old chair. My housemate returned from travels and asked me if I had at least made an offer on the Fox, which spurred me to today's fruitless action.

My resistance is probably futile, and I am going to have to surrender to the process of car ownership at same point soon, attendant costs and all. The battle is finding an auto in reasonably good condition, that gets decent mileage and doesn't require a computer to repair. The Fox was probably ideal, and I am an idiot for not jumping on it like graduate students on free food. I suck at these sorts of big decisions, and as usual failed to act when presented with the opportunity for a good deal. Then again, I am sure another car that meets my needs, standards and budget is available, I just have to continue to look, and enjoy every blissful day of life without slavery to some vessel powered by infernal combustion. Like today. Mahalo.

Karate Monkey

2005-10-07T10:03:00.000-07:00

The Red Trek is in the shop for its annual wheel truing and brake adjustment. I have never been good at either activity, even when I did my own bike maintenance on a regular basis. For 35 dollars and a week of time without my roadie I am happy to leave her with trained professionals at Big Shark Bicycles, and look forward to being able to stop with confidence, and I am sure the neighbors will be happy to not have me squealing down the hill at 7 am. Being without my trusty road bike has left me with a tough choice. Do I ride the Easton mountain bike or my housemate's Surly cruiser, the Karate Monkey? Since I am not Landon, with superhuman abilities, and the constant desire, to jump off, over and on to just about anything, the mtb just isn't practical in town, so the KM it is. With only one speed (32x20), a long wheel-base, 700cm wheels, and a very relaxed seat-tube angle I feel like I am riding the Cadillac ElDorado of bicycles. Despite her lack of tall gearing and its non-aerodynamic riding position I have enjoyed myself quite a bit on her. She's not bad for the run to the washateria and she is far superior to driving a car to work, and to be honest, its kind of fun to just relax and enjoy a more sedate pace on the daily rides. I have noticed more details in the gardens and houses along my route than I have in the past, well worth the extra 5 or 10 minutes it takes to get to work, or to get home. Sometimes, slow is good. Bicycles Uber Alles.

The Unintended Cute Butt Consequence

2005-10-04T11:02:00.000-07:00

I try and extol as many people (especially women) as I can talk to about the virtues of commuting by bicycle. For the most part, I have altruistic motivations for this. Reduction in greenhouse gas emissions, reduction in oil-consumption (and thereby reduction of the cost of feedstock chemicals, gas, diesel and heating oil, and therefore reduction in money for awful regimes in awful parts of the world), reduction of wear on the roads (reduction of money spent on road maintenance), reduction of traffic, and the list goes on. More bicycle commuters also means that more places will take cyclists needs seriously and have more incentive to install bike lockers and showers (not to mention bike racks). More cyclists means more people demanding dedicated bike lanes, and also an improved car-to-cyclist ratio (safety in numbers). There is an unintended consequence here as well, Butt Cuteness. As a non-attached, traditional male I have a vested interest in both maintaining a cute butt and having women around me with cute butts. You may judge me crass for saying this, but cute butts are attractive and butt maintenance takes time. In the busy world in which we inhabit, being able to commute to work, reduce stress by exercise, improve the environment and maintain a cute butt, all at the same time, is multitasking at its best. That cycling also improves the calves, waist, back and the all important cardiovascular system makes it hard to justify not cycling to work.

Fall Arrives Like an Avalanche

2005-09-29T13:03:00.000-07:00

I promised myself that I would not post much when depressed or generally surly. So for the last week or I haven't posted, instead I have mulled and stewed and done a good job of imitating a snapping turtle, with rabies, on meth. Some of it was work related, it appears that I am heading for a third "adjustment" to my dissertation, this time, for reasons too complicated and involved to delve into here, sufficeth to say I am non-plussed about the situation. Most of my moodiness has been the weather. The summers in St. Louis are usually insufferable for a Pacific Northwest boy, and this summer has been especially bad. Too much heat and humidity, too much stagnant air, too many mornings where my balls are sweaty before I can even get on the bike. As September has dragged on the summer has clinged to the city, and I have gotten progressively more bitter, more angry. I need fall, more than I need spring, and fall seemed to be hiding out in Pittsburgh and Seattle and Spokane. This morning I woke to a cold house, a cold city, a cold ride. I got to wear the windstopper fleece and the long fingered gloves, and wished I had worn riding tights and not shorts. Fall is finally here, its arrival gives my soul the reset it needed, and soon the sycamores and maples will soon turn colors, and the city shall throw off the oppressive cloak of summer green for her fall coat of color. Most importantly, I am happy today.

Music Makes My Morning

2005-09-22T07:49:00.000-07:00

Another near-death or dismemberment experience this morning. A St. Louis firefighter almost took a free right across (you guessed it) Clayton Ave. onto Skinker Blvd. and across me. I guess I will have to go a little farther out of my way in order to improve my chances of living to see my next committee meeting, which I am cool with, more time on the Trek, more time in the park.
Dr. Bones asked about my musical choices. Since I live with statistics and trends in my working life, I have not idea what my Ipod top ten is... And I don't really care. I can say that I listen to Sufjan Stevens' Illinois an awful lot. I also spend a lot of time with DJ Danger Mouse's Ghetto Pop Life and the highly illegal Grey Album. Vespertine and Debut from Bjork are oft repeated (listening to Debut right now) and Days of Future Past by the Moody Blues is a life preserver of poetry and strings that I grasp when the world seems like its off its hinges and everything I read or hear seems to be dark and depressing. Of course there is also the tender, tragic beauty of Pink Moon by Nick Drake.
Music changes my mood, it picks up my pace on late night stealth rides, pushes me over the edge on runs, guides me to the secret place and provides the seed for the walk, when I stride along, hands swinging free, shoulders back, crooked grin on my crooked face, knowing I am a wearing an "I love toxic waste" t-shirt under my button collar oxford and not caring about anyone's roles or definitions or attempts to shame me for being who I am, an over-educated, elitist geek.

All Hail Cool Mornings

2005-09-21T07:51:00.000-07:00

There is always a certain pleasure associated with riding a bicycle to work. Watching all the sour faced people trapped in their little (or not-so little) metal boxes, angry at the world and all the other drivers, as I coast by, listening to Liz Phair or Jamiroquai or Glenn Gould's elegant Goldberg Variations on my Ipod Mini and smiling. In St. Louis, its a little thrilling, dodging rusted out dump-trucks, psychotic suburban soccer socialites Suburban's, uber-macho construction workers jacked up full size pick-up trucks and all the women putting make-up on as they drive. Bike commuting is also a sweaty enterprise for four months of the year. Wake-up weather is usually 78 degrees with 85% humidity for most of the summer, so no matter how easy a pace I take, I get to school with sweaty armpits, face, back, and balls. Now that September is here I can get up and ride to work (or to Meshuggah Cafe) without fear of sweaty balls. Pure Bliss.

Polymer Chemist Seeking...

2005-09-16T10:27:00.000-07:00

I have the manual to the Stokes Ellipsometer propped open on the pile of spectra, papers, napkins, cables and books that is my desk and it hits me like Montezuma's Revenge, This Is Not Going To Get Me A Woman. I will admit that being able to determine film thicknesses on the sub-angstrom scale is pretty freaking cool, and any device that includes precision machined parts and a laser is by definition super-cool, but really, why am I even looking at this? Now, if I were perusing, say the owner's manual to the 1963 MGA or perhaps a Triumph TR6, I would at least be learning about something that could impress a woman (chicks dig cool cars, or so I've heard). Now I can respect a job well-done as much as the next cat, and I understand that by developing this skill will make the boss shiny-happy and probably help with the next job application, but what good is that going to be tonight at the bar? Not much methinks. I was recently at the Fall National Meeting of the American Chemical Society and I noticed that they had a product fair where scientists could get connected with companies supplying chemicals, software, equipment and services. There was a job fair (academic and industrial) where students could meet prospective employers (they even have a web-page where one could upload the resume). So why not a chemist dating service as well? I envision web-based services for uploading profiles, cvs, research interests, etc... We could even get together with the physicists, geologists, biologists and computer scientists and create a global geek dating service! It may be the only way I can find a woman to impress with my wicked skills with the ellipsometer.

Nanoparticles Don't Scare Me, But They Give Me Nightmares

2005-09-15T08:13:00.000-07:00

Someone asked me if I had read Prey by Michael Crichton. I have to admit I haven't, but I did check it out once from the library with every intention of inhaling it over a couple of cold, lonely, November weekends. As is usual in my life, work consumed me and I never got around to it. I read the jacket cover though, and I am sure I would enjoy spending some time in front of a gently crackling fire, a glass of 12-year old Glenfiddich in hand with some Pharaoh Sanders on the Hi-Fi, reading about the end of man. I liked the Andromeda Strain, as much for its technical and scientific accuracy as for its gripping examination of the psychology of scientists and physicians in extreme circumstances. But I don't lose sleep over the possibility of some alien virus falling to earth and nearly killing us all. Nanoparticles don't scare me either, but I do lose sleep over them all the time. Mostly I lay awake and mull over mistakes I made in lab, why my experiment failed, or what I need to get done in the morning. Sleep happens eventually, but never soon enough for me to get a solid 8 hours, which I need. After a few days of this in a row, the anxiety and stress have built up and sent me over the falls, so I drink myself to oblivion, get the sleep I need, and the process starts all over again. Maybe this is the nanoparticles plan, subtle and smart, to kill me off. Then again, I figure that I am in more danger from some suburban soccer mom in a very non-nanoscale Suburban on chatting on her cell-phone, yelling at her kids and not checking the cross traffic and making me into a human speed-bump, than anything that I work with. But who knows, maybe my core crosslinked nanoparticles are planning vengeance for cooking some of their mates with the 514 nm laser yesterday...

Nanoparticles Just Happen

2005-09-14T12:43:00.000-07:00

Jack Kerouac once said that he wanted to write like Charlie Parker played the saxophone. Having listened to my share of The Bird, I can understand Kerouac's fascination with the man. He played so fast, so beautifully, or originally that it seems unreal. There is not a lot of sheet music for what he did, just a melody for a few bars and then... improvisation, pure art, never the same two takes in a row. Nanoscience is like that most days. I have a sheet of chemical formula and then I mix some stuff and... nanoparticles just happen, maybe. Some really smart person called the process "Self-Assembly" and in a nut shell it means we make little polymers that, under the right conditions, want to make themselves into nanoparticles. Just figuring out what shape and size our nanoparticles are is an art. Since we can't see them with our eyes, or even a regular microscope we use a lot of uber-geek gear to try and detect them. What gets really humbling is that as I struggle to make little spheres reproducibly, under highly controlled conditions, my body is making polymers and nanoparticles constantly, perfectly. I am talking about DNA, RNA, proteins... They are just polymers, and they automatically fold up into the right shape. If they are not the right shape, the body detects them and either unfolds them so they can try again, or it destroys them. I wish I could make nanoparticles like my body.

Where am I supposed to ride?

2005-09-13T14:33:00.000-07:00

I was riding my red bicycle to work today and as I aimed to cross onto the bike path in Forest Park I had to navigate around a woman who had stopped her car in front of the handicap/ bicycle ramp. She was, of course, not going to make that free right onto Skinker at 7 am, and, since there was no damage to her car's rear-end I can assume that she wasn't pushed into the crosswalk and in front of the ramp. So why was she there? I can dimly recall something from driver's ed. About having to stop with ones bumper behind the white line of the crosswalk or the stop here line. Were I to ride my bicycle down the street, occupying my legally entitled lane, I am sure the woman would be very non-plussed about my moving at a sedate 20 mph and not the posted 35. So why would she make it difficult for me to access the bike path? I'd blame my early morning confusion on the lack of coffee... But its 5 and I am still confused.